I have been told for twenty years that I might have mixed connective tissue disease (MCTD), but I have not been definitely diagnosed. I am sure all of you know what I mean. After going for so many tests and endless appointments, I decided it was just something that I would have to live with. I always tested with positive antinuclear antibodies (ANA). Some doctors thought I had lupus.

I am going to list some symptoms and I wish someone would please respond. I have had serious problems with swallowing and had my esophagus stretched and webs and scar tissue removed many times.

I am almost worried to death about memory loss, and being confused. I used to run a business doing all the payroll, tax records, etc. for thirty-five years, and now I cannot remember what I did yesterday or even this morning. All I can say is, "I cannot remember." I have also forgotten how to spell.

Last year I had pneumonia that seemed to hang on forever. Other symptoms are severe esophagus damage; no muscles function in the esophagus; tinnitus, dry eyes, dry and small mouth, hair loss, joint and muscle aches, cold hands and feet. I am either cold or sometimes I feel like my flesh is on fire.

I have swelling of both hands and feet. My hands are curling under just a little. My hands are a darker color and I have some lumps and thickening of the skin in my palms and toes. I have little sores on my fingers, right behind the nails. My hands also get numb. I cannot use my hand and drop things often. I cannot open lids or write well. I have lumps behind my elbow, in the palm of my hands and on the soles of my feet. The bottom of my feet burn. I also have thyroid problems.

I have lost all my gums and upper jaw bone. My dentures are built up and they fit right below my sinus bones. I have had depression for years, and irritable bowel syndrome (IBS) for a long time. I have been diabetic for twenty-seven years. Well, those are most of my symptoms.

I guess people think I am falling apart and sometimes I wonder if that is true. What I am afraid of is going to the rheumatologist and he tells me that he does not know what is wrong. That means I will come back home to wonder some more. I know there must be many more of you that can identify with that experience. I have an appointment at the end of this month with a rheumatologist, so I am hoping to finally get some answers. I can hardly stand the thought of going through all the things I went through before.

Sorry for such a long letter. I do not talk to many people about this and there are so many things I want to know. Finding this place has been so helpful. I hope to hear from someone soon. I am a sixty-two year old woman hoping for some answers. I just hope that someone will be so kind to take the time to answer some of my questions. Thanks again.