Regardless of what gender my name falls under, I am a female who has struggled for the past five to six years to get a straight diagnosis. I have been to countless doctors with my many symptoms, which include joint and muscle aches and pains, fatigue, rashes, swelling, and many others.

At first, I thought I was losing my mind.

I started with my family doctor and from there, I became very frustrated and very untrusting of medical personnel. First I came across one nasty nurse, then a bookkeeper that could not get my account straightened out, followed by doctors who continually asked if I drank too much and how much did I smoke, and who told me, "We think you are depressed!" I felt I was being treated as some dumb blonde.

Finally, one day I was referred to a rheumatologist. That was five or six years ago, and I am still being told different things: one time I have lupus, and the next time I have undifferentiated connective tissue disease (UCTD). All this simply means is they are not entirely sure yet which CTD it is.

Some of the doctors have said to me, "Oh, you do not want to have lupus or scleroderma." Duh! Now is there some reason I would want one of these diseases? I just want to know what is wrong, and what to expect!

So I know how it feels to feel like an outcast, but dealing with this disease is not nearly as bad as dealing with the question: "What is this disease?"